


A Wolf in Man's Clothing

by crownedcryptid



Category: Original Work
Genre: Comedy, Dark Comedy, Mystery, Original Character(s), Paranormal, Paranormal Investigators
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-12 02:36:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20130157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crownedcryptid/pseuds/crownedcryptid
Summary: Clint Ross is the advisor for the Franklin High Occult Club, and together with his club members, and a quirky teacher, he solves the mystery of a murderous werewolf!





	A Wolf in Man's Clothing

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy!

“We’re gona blow this whole thing wide open!” Shouted the woman dressed in black.

“That’s what she said,” whispered the immature teenage girl behind me.

“Who’s ‘she’?” Asked the obnoxiously oblivious girl.

“Be quiet!” I said, “You’re the ones who wanted to do this stake out, so keep your stupid comments in your pocket.”

“What kind of saying is that? Don’t you mean, keep our comments in our mouths or something,” the immature girl pointed out, for no good reason.

Suddenly, we finally heard some noise from the other side of the bush. We’ve set a net trap with some bait to catch a werewolf. Sounds crazy, I know, and trust me, I didn’t believe we’d catch anything, but it sounds like something is on its way to our trap. My colleague in black started a countdown, and everyone readied their blunt weapons.

“3...2...1...GO!”

On her cue, the four of us leaped out of the bush. The girls didn’t hesitate to start wailing on our prey with their bats, but I took a second to look at what we caught, and it definitely was _ not _a werewolf.

“DIE DIE DIE!” The girls shouted while blindly batting like they’re expecting candy to pop out.

I intervened, “Stop it! We didn’t catch a damn werewolf! Look!”

The girls stopped their batting and realized all we truly captured, was some random bearded man.

“Oh dear,” the shy girl whispered.

“He could still be a werewolf, he’s just in his human form! Get him!” The obnoxious girl encouraged.

“No wait!” The girl in black shouted, “It’s a full moon tonight, if it was him, he’d be in his wolf form,” That’s a stupid path of logic, but I’ll accept whatever stops these maniacs.

I helped the poor old guy out of the net, “Terribly sorry about that sir. Believe it or not my insensitive friends here thought you were a werewolf,” I said, hoping that would somehow justify our horrible actions.

The raspy voiced man gave an unexpected response, “Oh! You’re after the werewolf! I know a lot about that!” There’s no way he knows anything about it, “Just give me $50 and I’ll tell ya’ everything I know!” Seriously? We’re not dumb enough to fall for-

“That’d be a great help!” I stand corrected. The obnoxious girl whipped out her wallet and handed a bill to the homeless man, who then immediately ran away, jumping about like he won the lottery.

“Oh, he must be off to get his cell phone,” the shy girl assumed.

After explaining to them that he was clearly _ NOT _getting a phone, we went our separate ways for the night.

Honestly, I have no idea why I’m participating in this nonsense, but I guess it’s better than eating a TV dinner at home ...alone.

I’m Clint Ross, assistant advisor of the Occult Club at Franklin High, or as the others call it, the ‘Occult Research Society.’ Though, can it really be a society with only four members? Trust me, I’d much rather be advising the literature club or something, but I was dragged into this by Miss. Rodriguez, the madam in black I mentioned earlier. Her first name is Rose and she’s, eccentric to say the least. She’s always dressed like she’s at funeral or a punk rock concert, I don’t understand why the school board let’s her wear that stuff. Plus, like most people in this crazed town, she’s obsessed with the paranormal. Unfortunately for me I had accidentally discovered and solved a ‘paranormal’ mystery in the past, and I haven’t been able to get her and her minions away from me since. It was nothing big, there was a rumored ‘vampire’ and I discovered it was actually some innocent pale guy with a ketchup eating addiction. Certainly not normal, but not a vampire.

Oh and the minions I mentioned, they’re our clubs only two student members, Ally and Minnie. Ally is the aforementioned obnoxious one, and Minnie is the timid one. Minnie’s my favorite of the group because she doesn’t cause any problems, she’s totally oblivious though. Ally, is the exact opposite. One time she poured garlic into my coffee when I wasn’t looking, to confirm I wasn’t a vampire, I think my breath still smells from that. These crazy guys are hard to deal with but again, it certainly isn’t boring.

Currently we’re tracking our town’s latest mystery, a werewolf, apparently. There’s been reports of brutal murders and dead farm animals, and instead of the logical conclusion that there’s some serial killer on the loose, we - or rather - _ they _believe there is a rampant werewolf. I’ll believe it when I see it. For now, I need to rest, and check for ticks, we were out in that bush for hours.

\---

The next day started off normal, I went to the school, taught all my classes, and sat in the teacher’s lounge as long as possible to avoid going to the club. I was enjoying the peace and quiet until, someone walked in, luckily it wasn’t _ her _.

“Hey Clint! How’s it going?” It was a fellow teacher in the English department, Roy Miller.

We exchanged greetings, then the conversation transformed into what it usually does.

“So what’s your club up to these days? Going after that werewolf I assume,” he pried.

“Yeah,” I sighed, “Just hope they give up on it soon. Last night we staked out in the woods for hours, and all we caught was a homeless guy who ran off with our cash.”

“Sounds rough, but at least you got to spend a night with Rose, right?”

Ah great, here we go with this again.

“I’m tellin’ you man if she wasn’t nuts she’d be like, ten out of ten on my scale. You’re really lucky you know, you’re the only dude she talks to.”

“Trust me, it’s not a good thing.”

“Eh, you won’t be saying that when she invites you for dinner.”

“The only thing she’d invite me to would be a blood sacrifice or something.”

“Oh that reminds me!”

How did ‘blood sacrifice’ remind him of something?

“I gotta head out, I’ve got a hot date, well not as hot as yours but hopefully she’ll stick around.”

Alright I get it you’re a creep.

“I’m supposed to give these papers to Jim, do you mind doing that for me?”

“Yeah, whatever keeps me out of that clubroom.”

Thus the role of paper boy was passed onto me. Jim, or Mr. Mueller as were supposed to call him, is the school’s principal. He’s an alright guy from my experience, though I haven’t spent too much time with him. This should be a good chance to have a little chat and procrastinate on my ‘Occult Society’ duties.

I walked over to his office, opened the door, gave a friendly greeting, and...uh...there seems to be ginormous, mutant wolf sitting at his desk, drooling excessively.

…

I’ll just, close the door.

…

That...no there’s no way! I must’ve had too much coffee. I’ll just open the door again and, yup! There he is, good old Jim Mueller sitting at his desk expecting my arrival. No werewolf! I’m delusional!

“Hey Clint!” He greeted with a smile, “What brings you here?”

“Roy said I need to deliver these papers to you.”

“Oh yeah! Just place them here please,” he patted the corner of his desk.

I placed the papers down, but it caused a pen to roll onto the floor.

“Don’t worry I’ll get that,” Mr. Mueller bent down from his chair to find the pen on the floor. His backside was sticking upwards as he scavenged and...uh...he has a tail? No no no, I’m just seeing things again. I placed my hand on his desk to somewhat rest and...why is this spot so wet? I pulled my hand up and looked at it, so slimy…oh no! This must be that drool I saw a few seconds ago. Oh no, oh god is he-

“Is something wrong, Clint?” He asked, somewhat concerned. I was too busy being freaked out to notice sat back up.

I looked away from my gooey hand and back at his face, “No everything’s fine! Just a little tired after a long day of-FANGS?!”

“Huh?”

He totally has fangs hanging from his mouth right now! “Uh, Fangs! They’re a band, they’re pretty good you should give them a listen.”

“Oh could you lend me a cassette? I’d love to listen and get in-the-know!” 

Cassette? What year does he think it is? Wait that doesn’t matter right now, “I gotta get to the club now see you later!”

I quickly left the room, slammed the door, and booked it to the Occult Club. I rapidly knocked on the club door, it opened slightly.

“What’s the password?” Ally asked with a suspicious tone.

“Since when did we have a password? It’s me! Open the door!”

Ally paused for a moment and replied, “That’s not the password.”

I leaned against the door, “Who cares about a password! I know who the werewolf is!

Ally was about to say something snarky again, but loud, fast footsteps from inside the room drowned out her voice. The door swung open with incredible speed, and I fell over into the room. Rose grabbed me by the arms before I hit the ground and held me close to her sparkling face. She had a whimsical expression, like a kid who just met Santa Clause, it was totally contradictory to her gothic outfit.

“Who is it?! Where are they?!” She questioned excitedly while shaking me back and forth.

This is going to be a mess.

\---

The next day after school, we began our operation. I have no idea how this will turn out, but old Mr. Mueller is definitely a werewolf, and I don’t want to work for a werewolf. Looks like he’s having a conversation with another teacher in the hallway, so Rose, the club lackeys, and myself, are creeped around a corner to observe the situation. Mr. Mueller is talking with Roy, who seemed pretty depressed. Guessing his ‘hot date’ didn’t go so well, like usual, at least he’s not whining to me about it.

“So you saw him in his wolf form yesterday?” Rose asked me, quietly.

“Yeah, then he went back to normal, but only halfway, I saw fangs and a tail.”

“You sure he wasn’t just, dressed up?” Ally proposed.

“Why would he dress like that alone in his office?” I asked.

“I can think of several reasons,” Ally retorted.

Minnie finally spoke up and stopped the pointless argument, “If he’s actually a werewolf, then that explains why he always went around sniffing peoples’ hair.”

“What?!” I soft yelled in disbelief, a little too loudly. Mr. Mueller heard me and turned around, we quickly swung around the corner and hid from his sight.

“He totally has super, wolf-like hearing too!” Ally whispered, excitedly.

“Why do you sound excited?” I asked, “This _ thing _has been going around killing people!”

“And sheep, poor, pure innocent sheep. Why would anyone kill animals!” Minnie added, for no reason. Nobody tell her what our school lunch is made from.

I continued, “Do we have any sort of plan to stop this thing?

“We need a dog,” Rose proposed suddenly.

“A... dog?” Is that her solution or does she just suddenly want a mascot for the club?

Rose explained, “If we bring a dog to him, it should activate his animal instincts and turn him into his wolf form. Then we can tranquilize him, and show the world we’ve caught the werewolf!”

I’m confused, “You say that like it’s an obvious, easy solution.”

“We’ll it is!” She replied, “Haven’t you ever read a werewolf almanac?”

No, of course I haven’t, I didn’t even know that existed.

“Where are we going to get a dog?” Ally asked, “Oh! I keep a collection of hair in my room, we could make a fake dog.”

Gross, “You keep a collection of your own hair?”

“Some of it’s my hair, can’t have the government steal my DNA and make clones that are cuter than the real me!”

…I’m sorry wait…only _ some _ is her hair?

“I have one!” Minnie spoke up, 

“See! Minnie has a hair collection too! It’s a normal thing Mr. Ross,” Ally replied.

“No I mean I have _ a dog _,” Minnie explained.

Very glad that’s what she meant.

Minnie continued, “I’m not sure if we should use her though, she’s a vicious predator! She’s so scary she made my neighbors move away and change their names!”

I can think of a lot of other reasons why those neighbors must have done that.

“The scarier the better! Bring her in tomorrow!” Rose instructed.

“Ok, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Minnie cautioned.

\---

The next day after school, we met up in front of the teacher’s lounge. Mueller was inside getting himself some coffee. Minnie hasn’t shown up yet, but looks like Ally and Rose are here already. Rose was showing off something to Ally when I showed up.

“Oh hey Clint! Check this out!” Rose turned around and pushed some bizarre contraption against me. This is, a crossbow?

“What the hell are you doing with this?!” I panicked.

“It’s to tranquilize the werewolf, duh!”

“Can’t you just use a blow dart or something less, threatening.”

“No, a crossbow is way cooler! I even have different types of ammo, just in case.”

That’s a horrible explanation.

Soon enough, Minnie finally arrived, without a dog in her hands.

“There you are. Where’s the dog?” I asked.

“Right in here!” Minnie pulled off her girly backpack, placed it on the ground, and opened it up. She pulled out a horrific and deadly...Pomeranian? She held it up close to Ally, “Here she is! My little killer!”

Ally screamed and backed away, “Ah! It wants to eat my face and bank account information!”

What is she scared of? This puppy looks like isn’t hungry for anything but treats and belly rubs.

“Are you being serious right now?” I asked, clearly this is some sort of joke, “That’s the most innocent-looking puppy I have ever seen.”

“No way!” Minnie retorted, “Bitsy will kill you, your mom, and your mom’s mom!” Minnie held the pup to me, and instead of biting my face off, it gently licked my nose.

“Right, real scary,” I said sarcastically.

Minnie pouted and put Bitsy down in front of the lounge door. The four of us backed away behind a set of nearby lockers, we peaked at the lounge doorway, waiting for our two ‘killer wolves’ to meet each other. Soon enough, Mueller exited the room and swiftly noticed the dog.

“Oh dear! How’d you get in here?” He asked.

Rose whispered to us, “See, he’s trying to interact with the dog because they can understand each other!” No, I’m pretty sure he’s rhetorically talking to the dog, like every person on Earth does with cute animals.

Then Mueller stopped talking, and checked his surroundings, probably to see if the coast was clear. Then, he growled.

“This is it!” Rose whispered, excitedly.

Next, Mueller began to transform right in front of our eyes. He hunched over, and his limbs grew in size. His teeth sharpened, his jaw relocated, and he grew a snout. I can’t believe this is actually happening right now. Can we really take this thing down?

“This is so awesome!” Ally shouted, “I can’t wait to see him eat your dog, Minnie!”

Minnie gasped, “He’s gona eat Bitsy?!”

“Yeah probably!” Ally shouted without any remorse, “It’ll be cool! We can see her guts and stuff-”

Minnie screamed, and ran out of hiding to get her dog. This isn’t good. Mueller finished his grotesque transformation into a wolf monster and noticed Minnie. She jumped in to protect her dog but was too scared to do anything else.

“Crap!” I shouted, “We need to help her!”

In a flash, Ally ran out and pushed Minnie away. The wolf swiftly slashed his claws, and scratched Ally’s leg.

Minnie rushed to her aid, without even thinking about the beast, “Are you ok?!”

“I’m fine,” Ally assured, even though she obviously wasn’t, there was a huge gash in her leg, “I’ve had paper cuts worse than this.”

I noticed the wolf was getting ready to slash again, but right before it could, Rose fired a bow against the wall, right next to the beast’s head, turning his attention to us.

“Come get us you smelly weirdo!” Rose taunted, she then sprinted away leaving me in the dust. Crap! I nearly tripped, but I quickly turned to follow Rose. The wolf ran after us, leaving the kids alone, thank goodness.

Now what? I’m running for my life in an empty school, away from a werewolf who a few days ago was my boss. That’s life I guess! I hate this life!

I ran until reaching the end of the hallway, there’s now two other hallways to my left and right. I was too busy freaking out to notice which way Rose went. Crap! I’ll just go left-

ARGH!

Something heavy hit me, and my body flew against the wall in front of me like a ragdoll. I got up and scooted against the wall in pain, I guess that thing chucked a trash barrel at me, and now it’s blocking my path. I’m trapped.

Guess this is the end. The beast got close, close enough that his slimy drool was dripping on my pants, and all I could smell was sweat and dog hair. He bared his teeth at me, almost like it was grinning, and before it could do anything else horrific. It...went limp...and fell on it’s right side...unconscious. Hell yeah!

“Did he hurt you?” someone to my right side asked, oh wait, it’s Rose. Never thought I’d be happy to see her. From the position I’m in right now, she looks like a punk angel ready to take me to the other side. She held out her hand and helped me up.

“Uh...I’m ok. Maybe sprained my back, and I’m traumatized, but I’m alive.” I said while anxiously getting back on my feet.

“Good!” Rose smiled, you know maybe Roy was right, she is pretty-

“ROAR!”

AHH!

The wolf screeched, while struggling on the ground in a pool of blood.

“Oh god, is it dying?” I asked, nervously.

“No he’s ok,” Rose assured, “I hit him with my tranquilizing ammo!”

I looked back at the struggling, bleeding beast, “Are you sure? That’s a lot of blood.”

“I’m sure!” Rose pulled out some bows from a pouch around her waist and examined their tips, “I used the...oh wait...no I used the wolfsbane arrow by accident, he’s totally dying.”

Well that’s not necessarily a bad thing, it was trying to kill us, and had already killed other people. But, how are we going to explain this pool of blood-

“Thank you.”

Huh? I turned to Rose, “Did you just thank me?”

“That wasn’t me,” Rose answered, we turned our attention back to the beast, who was now miraculously standing upright again. We both screamed, and Rose aimed her crossbow again.

“No no no wait!” The wolf panicked, “Let me explain!”

It sounds different now, like, significantly less terrifying. Now it sounds just like Mr. Mueller.

“Explain what?” Rose said while steadying her aim, “You hurt my students you no good werewolf!”

“I’m not a werewolf!” It cried.

Rose lowered her weapon.

“What are you talking about? Don’t tell me you’re just in a costume,” I argued, wait, am I seriously just casually talking to a monster right now?

“I’m a wolfwere!” He pleaded.

“No way, seriously?!” Rose shouted in surprise.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I asked.

Rose explained, “He’s not a person cursed to turn into a wolf, he’s a wolf cursed to turn into a person!”

Did I hear that correctly? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard-

“That’s right!” The thing began to explain, “I used to be a normal wolf, but ten years ago I was bitten by some weird old guy. Now I’ve been forced to assume his form ever since. I don’t even know what happened to the real guy, but he must’ve been some sort of serial killer because I randomly got urge to kill people! I was never like that before the bite, I was a civil wolf!”

A ‘civil’ wolf? Are there different classifications of - whatever - I’m so over this. Just as long as we can get this thing to stop killing people, I’ll be satisfied, and I’ll lock this experience away in the deepest parts of my memory.

The wolfwere continued to explain and pointed at the arrow in its side, “When you hit me with this wolfbane arrow, you cured my curse!”

“Of course!” Rose shouted.

His wound is still leaking blood like a fountain, I spoke up, “Are you sure? That’s a super deep wound, are you going to be ok?”

“I’ll be fine,” the wolf assured, “I have a lot of blood.”

What kind of explanation is that?

The wolfwere bowed, like some sort of gentleman, “As thanks for curing me, I’ll do anything you desire, Miss.”

Anything? I proposed, “How about you stop terrorizing people and animals and go away forever.”

“Now that I’m cured I have no desire to kill, so shut up. I asked the lady, not you, jerk,” the wolf snapped.

‘Jerk’? What did I do wrong?

Rose thought for a moment, then gave her answer. As expected, it was an extremely stupid, and illogical answer, but somehow, it still made me smile.

\---

A week later…

“Puppy!” The sweet girl shouted, while tightly hugging her new friend.

“Badass puppy!” The obnoxious girl shouted while attempting to ride on the back of this new friend.

“This is, humiliating,” whined the new, fuzzy friend.

And that’s the story of how the Franklin High Occult Research Society got its mascot, Mr. Wolfie. It was a crazy, dangerous, nonsensical adventure, I know, but at least it had a happy ending.

I don’t know what’s in store for us next, and I can’t say I’m excited for it, but, I’m certainly curious to know, where this crazy Occult Club will take me next…

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Let me know if you enjoyed the story! I'd Love to do more with these characters!


End file.
